Being a man that pampers and caters to his woman. I have often heard conversations between women on this topic. Some good, but the majority being bad. Since I feel that most women are deceived on how to get their man to pamper them I decided to write this suggestive article.
To your surprise, there will probably be more things that you may want to avoid doing to win the favor of your man to get a chance at the "All Might Pampering". In some cases, you may want to avoid doing certain things if you want to keep him comfortable with pampering you. So that would make this article good for women who are getting pampered and those who aren't.
Try to keep it real with yourself and face the fact that no one owes you a foot rub, back rub, or what you may consider pampering. With women's movements and the lack of chivalry in today's society, you are now being put on the level of being equal with a man. If you're the type of woman that believes in women being treated as equals, the type that holds to more older traditional values, or you may be the type that likes to pull either card when it is convenient (This is a major don't do). All this is totally irrelevant. Both types are now being treated as equals regardless of what you may believe or hold true too. So if your feet hurt after a long day's work or maybe they just hurt from doing so much walking through the park or shopping mall. Guess what? No, one owes you pampering.
Communication is still the number one key. The problem I believe that most women are having is in this area. So that you can see if you are having problems with this I will first give you a few pointers on how to tell. Then we will go into some more "Don'ts" to help get you going in the right direction or to help some not run into problems and lose there quality time.
- If the words "Darling we need to talk." make him grunt and groan like he's in pain.
- If you where getting catered to but now it is only upon request.
- You seem to feel a little like you are bugging him by asking.
- He's told you that he's not going to do that and why he's not.
- When you guys start to communicate it usually ends in an argument.
One thing you should remember is you are not going to change a person. That is something that has to happen within and with time. Being forceful and fighting will only drive him away from the issue even more and maybe from you altogether. And finding a new partner that will do the pampering. Well, I can only say "the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed". So when you do communicate try to keep it simple by using the OUR #1 RULE: "Speak to him as you would have him speak to you". Men feel more comfortable in conversations where they feel respected or honored. For example, you have a woman who is getting her "half-job foot rub" from arguments and beating him down with consent harassment. On the other hand, you have a woman that is sweet and persuasive that is getting an awesome foot rub that could even lead to a night out with the girls, shopping or who knows what.
My woman's girlfriend said she had come home from a long day's work and asked to be massaged because her back and feet were aching. The response she got was his back and feet where aching also. So, of course, she got upset. I feel that if she wouldn't have gotten upset she may have noticed a light bulb turn on. Remember don't be argumentative but be persuasive. What she should have replied was "I'm sorry you had a hard day too dear, Why don't we both take turns rubbing each others kinks out and listening to those CDs that we both like".
If you are wanting to be catered to then you must be willing to cater to him also. Remember you are an equal now, right? First, find out what he likes and how he likes it. Men love catering too. Matter fact there is not much difference between you two. You guys just handle emotions and life situations differently as well as communicate your feelings differently. But there is no difference between your struggles.
Don't overdo it. Try not to get into a mind frame where it is expected or not appreciated because the minute he feels it is not appreciated or this type of treatment wouldn't be given to him since you guys are equals. The pampering my go right out the door. Barking out instructions during the course of the pampering like giving instructions on how to rub your feet while he's actually doing it is a major NO, NO. This should be avoided by letting him know when you guys do discuss it. For example "Yeah, honey when you gave me my rub that way it was really nice". Also, try not to discuss catering too much. Even nice words spoken over and over are irritating.
Making him feel like he owes you for the breakfast that morning or something you bought him when you went shopping yesterday is a real big turn off. That could put a major damper on the pamper parade. In some cases you may be dealing with a different case and scenario then I have described and that's ok too. I will now give you a helpful summary list that a woman can apply to win favor with her man and have a better chance of getting pampered.
- No one owes you pampering
- You can't change anyone
- The grass may be greener but it still must be mowed
- Be persuasive and sweet, not combative and forceful
- Try not to give instructions on the pampering during pampering
- Speak to him as you would have him speak to you
If I could sum it all up. I would say that the main focus from here on out needs to be in changing you and your approach to get your man to participate in the act of you guys pampering each other. Have fun out there!