Breaking up is a drag. Okay, I will admit that that sounds quite obvious, but if you have recently gone through a breakup, then you know just how tough it can really be. You are not alone if you're experiencing a virtual roller coaster of emotions. One moment you are so filled with anger that you feel like you could kill them, then the next moment you miss them so much that all you can think about is getting back with your ex. All of these feelings, while difficult, are totally normal.
While some people may say a break up isn't as bad as dying, there are some similarities. For example, you are losing a part of your life; someone that was close to you; perhaps someone you thought of as being one with yourself. Without them, your life seems empty. In other words, it feels just as though something has died inside of you. The other similarity is the grieving process. After somebody dies, it's typical for their loved ones to go through what's known as the "five stages of grief". There are definitely stages that people go through after a breakup, too.
An excellent first step to do after a break up is to write a letter to your ex. Say everything that you are feeling. Don't hold anything back. Pour your heart out and don't leave anything back. Talk about the good times and bad times, talk about how they shattered your dreams of a happy future together, call them every nasty name in the book you can think of, bare your soul and keep on writing until there is nothing more to be said. You can do this because your ex will never read it. In fact, nobody will because the other part of this exercise is to burn the letter after you write it. Doing this will allow you to get all of the pent up emotions out of your system without running the risk of making things worse between you and your ex.
Another important part of getting over a break up is to make sure there aren't any loose ends that one of you can use to manipulate the other. So, if there are any bills that you are partially responsible for, pay your share as soon as possible. If there is any property held in common then sit down and work out who gets what. If you can't decide who should get certain items then you could always agree to sell those items and split whatever money you get for them.
Once you have these loose ends tied up, then you should break off any and all contact with your ex for a few weeks. This will prevent each of you from saying or doing things you may regret later. Whether you end up getting back with your ex or not, you should still do what you can to remain respectful toward one another.
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