If you can make a guy think about you when you’re not there, he’s going to be all yours.
These tips work great at the beginning of a relationship, if you’re in the flirting stage, or even if you think he’s not interested. If you can get him to think about you and associate you with the right things, then he’s going to want to see you and be with you.
1. Loving Locally
Here’s a sneaky tip that will guarantee you’re on his mind even when you’re nowhere in sight. This one assumes you two are already having conversations. What you want to do is ask him about where he lives, his neighbourhood. Don’t probe too deep, you don’t want to be a stalker. What you want is to know a landmark he walks by every day and make him think of you whenever he sees it. Psychologists call this positive association.
For example, a client of mine had this wild story about swimming naked in a fountain that happened to be right by her crush’s house. You better believe that they’re now more than just friends.
If you’re not creative that’s okay. You can just say that the cool cafe down the street from him is your favourite spot. Tell him he has to try their lattes next time he’s around. Drop it into conversation a couple more times and pretty soon when he passes by the coffee shop, you’ll be on his mind. It’s that simple. It seems silly but I promise you, it works. Think of all the places and things that remind you of an ex. These can be powerful triggers to romantic feelings. Anyone who has ever heard “their song” on the radio and found themselves eating a big tub of ice cream, knows this to be true. What we’re doing here is making it happen in reverse. Building that memory to jumpstart the connection.
2. The “innocent” remark
Compliments will only get you so far. What I advise for tip two is a bit controversial but I swear it works. If you’ve ever heard of guys talk about “negging”, it’s a bit like that. You’re going to make a comment about his watch, his shoes, or something he wears every day. It shouldn’t be a compliment. Compliments don’t stick in our minds the way this comment will. Pick an item of clothing or an aspect of his appearance that you have something to say about. Don’t tell him his shoes suck. Here are a couple. “Where did you get those shoes? My dad is looking for something similar.” “You have cute little ears.” “You love to cuff your jeans, eh?” These are all comments that won’t quite hurt his feelings but they will make him think.
3. The disappearing act
This one is hard to argue with: if you want him to think about you when you’re not around, you need to spend some time... not around. Don’t move to China but if you’re always around him every second of the day, you’ll be familiar… and familiar things blend into the background. You don’t want that! Absence really does make the heart go fonder so if you’re always hanging around waiting for him to notice you, maybe take a few days off. Remember, your presence should be a present
4. Mystery over history
If he’s wondering about you, he’s thinking about you. You want him to wonder where you are and what you’re doing. This isn’t achieved by having an exciting, spontaneous lifestyle (although it helps). The real secret is that you can’t tell him every little thing you’re doing. If there are blanks then he’ll try to fill them in. If he likes you, it’ll make his mind run wild.
I find that the more private women are the more guys want to know what their deal is. And if he’s trying to get into your calendar instead of get into your pants, that can only be a good thing.
You don’t have to be standoffish but don’t be an open book, willing to dive deep into your personal life without provocation. You can still be flirty and friendly without giving away the farm.
Think of it like in high school. It’s always the new guy or girl that has everyone’s heart racing. And if you follow this advice, he’ll feel flustered whenever you look his way.
There it is, four ways to make him think about you when you’re not around.
If you’re looking to really get in his head for good, you shouldn’t miss my free video presentation. Click Here to check it out and watch until the very end. I’ll reveal my number one tip. You can use it on any guy and you’ll become the first thing he thinks about in the morning, and he’ll see you in his head when he’s falling asleep at night.
Subscribe to The Daily Ink
Get the latest posts delivered right to your inbox